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I take absolutely no responsibility for these jokes whatsoever. I did not create them, I am only providing a means for others to enjoy them. None of the humor on this page is placed here with the intent to offend, hurt, or otherwise be detrimental to others. This page has refrained from ethnic humor for these exact reasons. By viewing this page, you are agreeing to read these jokes at your own discretion. Credit to the original author or supplier has been given when known. Un-credited material is an indication of an unknown source, author, or contributor.



Tech Support #3

Customer: "It says I have 2 zillion bytes available, and I need 8 zillion."

While in art school, where we mostly worked with Amigas and Macs, a Spanish exchange student asked me if I ever worked with MS-2. I thought he meant OS/2 but he didn't know what that was. It took me some time to figure out that he meant MS-DOS. "Dos" in Spanish means "two."

My grandfather has recently started a course called "Computers for the Terrified." He's nearly eighty and, although used to be an engineer within the British Royal Airforce, is completely stuck when it comes to computers. He came back from his first evening at this course. When asked how it  had gone, he replied, "Yes, it was really good. I really enjoyed it, but I really couldn't get to grips with my mole." I stopped for a second, completely puzzled, until I realized he was talking about the mouse.

Customer: "I have a scummy card in my system."

Customer: "I have a cursing flasher."

Customer: "I am getting an error on my computer"

Tech Support: "What kind of error?"
Customer: "It says I have a corrupted file on my hard drive, and I should run 'Check Disk'."
Tech Support: "Ok, we need to call in a ticket, and someone will be down shortly."
Customer: "Can you make sure you bring some extra Check Disks, because mine does not work."
Tech Support: "Uh. We're out of stock right now, but I'll order some."

The place where a friend of mine works was going through the process of upgrading all of their computers. On one computer in particular, they had determined they needed more memory. One of the senior partners got it into her head that they needed more "MEG." My friend tried to tell her that what they needed was RAM, but she insisted that the machine had plenty of RAM and that they needed more Meg-specifically, about 16 megabytes of Meg. He got tired of arguing with her and said to go down to the computer store and buy some Meg. She came back with an envelope with RAM in it-on the envelope was written "16 megabytes of Meg." "The salesman tried to tell me the same thing you did," she told my friend, "but then he went and talked to his manager, and he set him straight. Now go install this Meg."

ID: 173 Category: Funny Stuff   Maturity Rating: PG-13   Format this joke for printing

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