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I take absolutely no responsibility for these jokes whatsoever. I did not create them, I am only providing a means for others to enjoy them. None of the humor on this page is placed here with the intent to offend, hurt, or otherwise be detrimental to others. This page has refrained from ethnic humor for these exact reasons. By viewing this page, you are agreeing to read these jokes at your own discretion. Credit to the original author or supplier has been given when known. Un-credited material is an indication of an unknown source, author, or contributor.



Interesting Absence Excuses

The following is alleged to be a partial list of actual absence notes sent in to teachers, but since I've seen this list attributed to both New Mexico and Louisiana, I have no idea what the truth is.

Dear School: Please excuse John from being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.

Please excuse Dianne from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

Please excuse Johnnie for being. It was his father's fault.

Chris will not be in school because he has an acre in his side.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face.

Excuse Gloria. She has been under the doctor.

Lillie was absent from school yesterday because she had a going over.

My son is under the doctor's care and should not take fizical ed. Please execute him.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hit in the growing part.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent this weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Joyce from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday she fell off a tree and misplaced her hip.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Blanche from jim today. She is administrating.

George was absent yesterday because he had a stomach.

Ralph was absent yesterday because he had a sore trout.

Please excuse Sara for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Please excuse Lupe. She is having problems with her ovals.

Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diah(*crossed out*), diahoah(*crossed out*), dyah(*crossed out*) the shits.

ID: 179 Category: Funny Stuff   Maturity Rating: PG-13   Format this joke for printing

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