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The Rock's Joke Page


I take absolutely no responsibility for these jokes whatsoever. I did not create them, I am only providing a means for others to enjoy them. None of the humor on this page is placed here with the intent to offend, hurt, or otherwise be detrimental to others. This page has refrained from ethnic humor for these exact reasons. By viewing this page, you are agreeing to read these jokes at your own discretion. Credit to the original author or supplier has been given when known. Un-credited material is an indication of an unknown source, author, or contributor.

Appalachian Translation

If you should take a tech support call from Frost Bottom or Wartburg, be sure and have these definitions close by:

LOG ON: Making a wood stove hot
LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood
MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the woodstove
DOWNLOAD: Gittin the farwood off the truck
MEGA HERTZ: When you're not keerfull gittin the farwood
FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from trying to tote too much farwood
RAM: That thar thing whut splits the farwood
HARD DRIVE: Gitting home in the winter time
WINDOWS: Whut to shut when it's cold outside
SCREEN: Whut to shut when it's black fly season
BYTE: Whut dem dang flys do
CHIP: Munchies fer the TV
MICRO CHIP: Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag
MODEM: Whatcha do to the hay fields
DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix's wife
LAP TOP: Whar the kitty sleeps
KEYBOARD: Whar you hang the dang truck keys
SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knifes
MOUSE: What eats the grain in the barn
MOUSE PAD: That's hippie talk fer the mouse home
MAINFRAME: Holds up the barn roof
PORT: Fancy Flatlander wine
ENTER: Northerner talk fer, "C'Mon in y'all"
CLICK: Whut you hear when you cock your gun
DOUBLE CLICK: When the dang gun don't far when you pull the trigger
REBOOT: Whut you have to do right before bedtime when you forgot the kitty's still outside.

ID: 217 Category: Computers and Technology   Maturity Rating: PG-13   Format this joke for printing

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Copyright © 2011, 2002 – Derek "The Rock" Altamirano – All Rights Reserved, but all wrongs avenged!

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