Laughter IS The Best Medicine

The Rock's Joke Page



Disclaimer:

I take absolutely no responsibility for these jokes whatsoever. I did not create them, I am only providing a means for others to enjoy them. None of the humor on this page is placed here with the intent to offend, hurt, or otherwise be detrimental to others. This page has refrained from ethnic humor for these exact reasons. By viewing this page, you are agreeing to read these jokes at your own discretion. Credit to the original author or supplier has been given when known. Un-credited material is an indication of an unknown source, author, or contributor.



Things I've Learned From My Children:

Too Funny
  1. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
  2. A four-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
  3. When you hear the toilet flush and the words uh-oh, it's already too late.
  4. Brake fluid mixed with bleach makes smoke, and lots of it.
  5. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.
  6. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
  7. Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.
  8. Duplos will not
  9. PIay-doh and microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
  10. Super glue is forever.
  11. MacGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.
  12. Ditto Tarzan.
  13. No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
  14. Pool filters do not like Jello.
  15. VCR's do not eject peanut butter and jelly sandwiches even though television commercials show they do.
  16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
  17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
  18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
  19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
  20. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
  21. The fire department in San Diego has at least a five minute response time.
  22. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.
  23. It will however make cats dizzy.
  24. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
  25. Quiet does not necessarily mean don't worry.
  26. A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life (unfortunately mostly in retrospect).

ID: 25 Category: Parents with Children   Maturity Rating: NC-17   Format this joke for printing

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Copyright © 2011, 2002 – Derek "The Rock" Altamirano – All Rights Reserved, but all wrongs avenged!



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