Laughter IS The Best Medicine

The Rock's Joke Page


I take absolutely no responsibility for these jokes whatsoever. I did not create them, I am only providing a means for others to enjoy them. None of the humor on this page is placed here with the intent to offend, hurt, or otherwise be detrimental to others. This page has refrained from ethnic humor for these exact reasons. By viewing this page, you are agreeing to read these jokes at your own discretion. Credit to the original author or supplier has been given when known. Un-credited material is an indication of an unknown source, author, or contributor.

Quotes by Women

 1. I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb ... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
-Dolly Parton-
 2. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
-Erica Jong-
 3. I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
-Rita Rudner-
 4. I've been on so many blind dates, I should get free dog.
- Wendy Liebman-
 5. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
-Erma Bombeck-
 6. If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
- Sue Grafton-
 7. I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr-
 8. I think-therefore I'm single.
-Lizz Winstead-
 9. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
-Elayne Boosler-
10. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
-Maryon Pearson-
11. I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.
-Gilda Radner-
12. In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.
-Margaret Thatcher-
13. I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
-Gloria Steinhem-
14. I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.
-Marie Corelli-
15. Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.
-Baroness Edith Summerskill
16. If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?
-Linda Ellerbee
17. I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.
-Zsa Zsa Gabor-

ID: 276 Category: General   Maturity Rating: PG-13   Format this joke for printing

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This page was last updated 03/14/2016

Copyright © 2011, 2002 – Derek "The Rock" Altamirano – All Rights Reserved, but all wrongs avenged!

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