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I take absolutely no responsibility for these jokes whatsoever. I did not create them, I am only providing a means for others to enjoy them. None of the humor on this page is placed here with the intent to offend, hurt, or otherwise be detrimental to others. This page has refrained from ethnic humor for these exact reasons. By viewing this page, you are agreeing to read these jokes at your own discretion. Credit to the original author or supplier has been given when known. Un-credited material is an indication of an unknown source, author, or contributor.



The Dachshund and the Leopard

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa He took his faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund started chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund discovered that he was lost.

So, wandering about, he noticed a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch. The dachshund thought, "OK, I'm in deep trouble now!" Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settled down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

Just as the leopard was about to leap, the dachshund exclaimed loudly, "Boy! That was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the leopard halted his attack in mid-stride, and with a look of terror slunk away into the trees. "Whew," said the leopard. "That was close. That dachshund nearly had me."

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree figured he could put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he went. But the dachshund happened to spy him heading after the leopard with great speed. The monkey soon caught up with the leopard, spilled the beans and struck a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard was furious at being made a fool of and said, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."

Soon the dachshund saw the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and he thought, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sat down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hadn't seen them yet... and just when they got close enough to hear the dachshund, he said--

"Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard."

ID: 313 Category: Animal   Maturity Rating: G   Format this joke for printing

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