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I take absolutely no responsibility for these jokes whatsoever. I did not create them, I am only providing a means for others to enjoy them. None of the humor on this page is placed here with the intent to offend, hurt, or otherwise be detrimental to others. This page has refrained from ethnic humor for these exact reasons. By viewing this page, you are agreeing to read these jokes at your own discretion. Credit to the original author or supplier has been given when known. Un-credited material is an indication of an unknown source, author, or contributor.



Night out with the girls

This was emailed to me:

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!"

Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., a bit blitzed, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when totally smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him.

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him Midnight.

He didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one!

Then he said, "We might want to invest in a new 'cuckoo' clock."

When I asked him why, he said..."Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh. shit.", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, hiccupped, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the cat and farted."

ID: 331 Category: Drinking   Maturity Rating: PG-13   Format this joke for printing

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