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The Rock's Joke Page



Disclaimer:

I take absolutely no responsibility for these jokes whatsoever. I did not create them, I am only providing a means for others to enjoy them. None of the humor on this page is placed here with the intent to offend, hurt, or otherwise be detrimental to others. This page has refrained from ethnic humor for these exact reasons. By viewing this page, you are agreeing to read these jokes at your own discretion. Credit to the original author or supplier has been given when known. Un-credited material is an indication of an unknown source, author, or contributor.



You Know You're from California If...

So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, you know you're from California if:

  1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
  2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
  3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
  4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.
  5. You can't remember . . . . . is pot illegal?
  6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
  7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
  8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?
  9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
  10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
  11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 a.m. at Starbucks w! earing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
  12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
  13. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?
  14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."
  15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones or pagers.
  16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
  17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????
  18. Both you AND your dog have therapists.
  19. The Terminator is your governor.
  20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one

ID: 354 Category: One Liners   Maturity Rating: PG-13   Format this joke for printing

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This page was last updated 03/14/2016

Copyright © 2011, 2002 – Derek "The Rock" Altamirano – All Rights Reserved, but all wrongs avenged!



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