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I take absolutely no responsibility for these jokes whatsoever. I did not create them, I am only providing a means for others to enjoy them. None of the humor on this page is placed here with the intent to offend, hurt, or otherwise be detrimental to others. This page has refrained from ethnic humor for these exact reasons. By viewing this page, you are agreeing to read these jokes at your own discretion. Credit to the original author or supplier has been given when known. Un-credited material is an indication of an unknown source, author, or contributor.

One Day at the Pearly Gates

(Don't blame me for this one) :-)

Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton both die on the same day. They both go before Saint Peter to find out if they will be admitted to heaven. Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so St. Peter must decide which of them will get in.

He asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to heaven. She takes her top off and says, "Look at these. They're the most perfect God has ever created, and I am sure it would please him to be able to see them every day for eternity."

Saint Peter thanks Dolly, and then asks Queen Elizabeth the same question. Queen Elizabeth then drops her skirt and panties, takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, shakes it up, and douches with it. St. Peter says, "Okay, your majesty, you may go in."

Outraged, Dolly screams, "What in the hell was that all about? I showed you two of God's greatest creations. She performed a disgusting hygiene act, and she gets in and I don't."

"Sorry, Dolly," says St. Peter, "but a royal flush beats a pair any day."

ID: 47 Category: Adult   Maturity Rating: R Rated   Format this joke for printing

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