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Disclaimer:

I take absolutely no responsibility for these jokes whatsoever. I did not create them, I am only providing a means for others to enjoy them. None of the humor on this page is placed here with the intent to offend, hurt, or otherwise be detrimental to others. This page has refrained from ethnic humor for these exact reasons. By viewing this page, you are agreeing to read these jokes at your own discretion. Credit to the original author or supplier has been given when known. Un-credited material is an indication of an unknown source, author, or contributor.



Words of Wisdom from Bathroom Walls

Friends don't let friends take home ugly men.
---Women's restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE
Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"
--- Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia
No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.
---Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, North Carolina
To do is to be - Descartes; To be is to do - Voltaire; Do be do be do Frank Sinatra
---Men's restroom, Greasewood Flats, Scottsdale, Arizona
Make love, not war... Hell, do both, get married!
---Women's restroom, The Filling Station, Bozeman, Montana
A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
---Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, Texas
Express Lane: Five beers or less
---Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA
You're too good for him.
---Sign over mirror in Women's restroom, Ed Debevics, Beverly Hill, CA
No wonder you always go home alone.
---Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA
The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
---Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL
If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can't take a dump here. Your asshole is in Washington.
---Men's room Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Washington
Beauty is only a light switch away.
---Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina.
I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.
---Houghto Library, Harvard University, Cambridge, Massachusetts.
If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives.
---Armand's Pizza, Washington, DC
God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?
---The Irish Times, Washington, DC
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
---Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Wickenburg, Arizona.
If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
---Revolution Books, New York, New York

ID: 81 Category: Funny Stuff   Maturity Rating: PG-13   Format this joke for printing

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