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I take absolutely no responsibility for these jokes whatsoever. I did not create them, I am only providing a means for others to enjoy them. None of the humor on this page is placed here with the intent to offend, hurt, or otherwise be detrimental to others. This page has refrained from ethnic humor for these exact reasons. By viewing this page, you are agreeing to read these jokes at your own discretion. Credit to the original author or supplier has been given when known. Un-credited material is an indication of an unknown source, author, or contributor.



McDonald's Fast Food Job Application:

This is an actual job application someone submitted at aMcDonald's fast-food establishment AND THEY HIRED HIM!(editor's note: I would have hired him too!!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NAME: Greg Bulmash

DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA But seriously, whatever's available.If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here inthe first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a MichaelOvitz style severance package. If that's not possible make an offerand we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pensand post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suitedto a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I behere?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROMLIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question herewould be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may alreadybe a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in theBahamas with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks I'm thegreatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doingthat now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OFYOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.

ID: 14 Category: Funny Stuff   Maturity Rating: PG-13   Format this joke for printing

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