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I take absolutely no responsibility for these jokes whatsoever. I did not create them, I am only providing a means for others to enjoy them. None of the humor on this page is placed here with the intent to offend, hurt, or otherwise be detrimental to others. This page has refrained from ethnic humor for these exact reasons. By viewing this page, you are agreeing to read these jokes at your own discretion. Credit to the original author or supplier has been given when known. Un-credited material is an indication of an unknown source, author, or contributor.

The Accident

A farmer with a truck full of animals is on his way to the market for auctioning. He comes upon a hitchhiker and gives the guy a lift. On the way to town, the farmer starts nipping at some home brew, swerves off the road and crashes in a big ditch.

The hitchhiker is thrown out of the truck, and suffers broken ribs, a broken arm, and a busted leg. The farm animals are also seriously messed up. The farmer, who survived with only a few cuts and bruises, gets out of the truck and inspects his animals.

The chickens have broken legs and wings, and can barely move. "These chickens are useless now!" the farmer explodes. "Nobody will buy these chickens!" He grabs his shotgun from the truck and shoots the chickens. 

Next, he sees that the pigs are all busted up and bleeding. "These pigs are worthless, too!" He reloads his shotgun and shoots the pigs. 

The farmer looks at the sheep, which are in the same shape as the chickens and pigs. "Worthless sheep!" he screams. He reloads the shotgun and shoots the sheep. 

The injured hitchhiker witnesses all this carnage in horror. The farmer then moves over to the side of the ditch and looks at the hitchhiker. "Are you okay down there?" asks the farmer. 

Instantly the hitchhiker answers, "NEVER FELT BETTER IN MY WHOLE LIFE!"

ID: 247 Category: General   Maturity Rating: PG-13   Format this joke for printing

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