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I take absolutely no responsibility for these jokes whatsoever. I did not create them, I am only providing a means for others to enjoy them. None of the humor on this page is placed here with the intent to offend, hurt, or otherwise be detrimental to others. This page has refrained from ethnic humor for these exact reasons. By viewing this page, you are agreeing to read these jokes at your own discretion. Credit to the original author or supplier has been given when known. Un-credited material is an indication of an unknown source, author, or contributor.

Sound Investments

I have a good friend in the brokerage business, and he tipped me off to some great investment opportunities that will be coming along in the next few months. I am sending them to just my close friends, so they can join me in getting in on the ground floor. There are some mergers of big companys in the works, and once completed, they all should all be high flyers.

  1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W.R. Grace are merging, and will become Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
  2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers are joining to form Polly, Warner Cracker.
  3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and will become MMMGood.
  4. Zippo Mfg., Audi Motor Car, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge shortly, and become (of course) ZipAudiDoDa.
  5. Federal Express is in early talks with their arch rival UPS, and hope to become one company with the name FedUp.
  6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers are merging and will become Fairwell Honey.
  7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants plan to become Poupon Pants.
  8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women are planning to merge into Knott NOW.

If I hear of any other good investment deals, I will be sure to pass them on to you. Now, go out and invest wisely.

ID: 334 Category: General   Maturity Rating: G   Format this joke for printing

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